Climate Control

I would like to speak to the one in charge of the temperature thermostat for Southeast Texas please. I would like to file a complaint. Just in case upper management hasn't noticed, the keeper of the thermostat is not qualified to do so. It appears the thermostat is being used like a roulette wheel... where it stops nobody knows.

It's the middle of December and the temperature outside is a balmy 80 degrees. I am barefooted and the air conditioner is running, making the ornaments on my tree dance around. I'm not even dreaming of a white Christmas, a cool Christmas would do me just fine.

There have been years we were bundled up because the weather was freezing, and there have been years we were running around in shorts and flip flops. Any given day in Southeast Texas is like waking up in a new location. Some days even the climate change from morning to afternoon can make you feel like you have traveled to somewhere far away and you don't remember making the trip.

It was December 24th, 1983. The high temperature for the day was 32 degrees with a low of 25. The forecast for Christmas day was a high of 29 degrees with a low of 14. Drizzle, ice pellets and snow was expected for the entire area.

Everyone was excited because there was a chance we were going to have a white Christmas! It is unusual for this area to get snow at all, but to possibly get it on Christmas Eve... well, it was appearing the saying, "When hell freezes over..." was happening.

Amber was ten months old and it was her first Christmas. We had big plans with the whole family coming over to celebrate the next day. I had spent all day in the kitchen preparing our Christmas feast and all the goodies that go with it.

Late that afternoon a friend of mine called and wanted to drop by to bring Amber a gift for her first Christmas. When they arrived, I shut down all the preparations for the next day and enjoyed their visit for a couple of hours. 

After they left, I went back to the kitchen to continue my Christmas culinary extravaganza. I went to the kitchen sink to wash my hands and as I turned the water on, nothing came out of the faucet but one lonely drop.

In two hours, the water in our pipes had frozen. I screamed for Richard to do something quick! If the pipes were already frozen they would stay that way through Christmas. No running water, and a half prepared dinner would not be a merry Christmas at all.

I stood there with Amber on my hip, wringing my hands in a state of panic, waiting for Richard with his "McGyver" like skills to solve the problem. Richard seeing that Christmas was resting entirely on his shoulders, had to come up with a solution, and fast.

Richard ran to the bedroom, grabbed my hair dryer and headed up the ladder to attic. I could hear the "whirring" of the dryer from down below as Richard tried to heat up the pipes to melt the ice.

After several minutes of "blow drying" the pipes, Richard said since he didn't know the exact spot where the ice had formed. He couldn't get the pipe warm enough to do the job. So climbing back down from the attic, Richard said he was going to find a propane blow torch.

Now... frozen pipes on Christmas is bad, but your house burning down because your husband was in the attic waving a blow torch around, just might take the jingle right out of your bells. I immediately started protesting as Richard waved me away as if to say, "silly woman... I got this."

Richard did not own a blow torch. So he decided he would go check with the neighbors to see if they had one. Being Christmas eve, most of the neighborhood was away from home for the evening. Our next door neighbors were having a huge Christmas party and Richard said he would go check with them.

I begged him to please not interrupt their party, but this was a man on a mission. It didn't take long for Richard to proudly return with blow torch in hand. I asked if our neighbors were upset he took the host away from the party for a few minutes. Richard laughed and said the Christmas spirit was flowing freely over there, and they probably would not even remember the interruption the next morning. Also we had an invitation to come join the party after we got our problem fixed. Thanks, but no thanks... the only thing I wanted to see flowing was water from my faucet.

Richard said he thought he knew where the icy pipe was located and he needed my help. Yes... I should have known right then this was not going to end well. So, I put Amber in her bed and went to join forces with Richard to save Christmas. 

Our water heater was located in our laundry room off of our carport, which basically made it feel like it was outdoors... the 20 degree outdoors. Richard took the pipe loose from the heater and told me to stand there and watch it. When I saw water start to drip out, reach down and shut the water off.

I was to keep my eye on the pipe and my hand on the valve so I could quickly turn the water off at the first sight of water. The valve was down low so I had to bend over, which made me look up into the open end of the pipe. (You see where this is going don't you...)

As I waited, looking up into the pipe, I heard a "swoosh" sound. At the same moment, water started gushing from the pipe right into my face, drenching me from head to toe. Screams and words that should have made Santa Claus turn around and head back to the north pole, came from that laundry room.

I managed to get the water turned off as Richard came running around the corner. Richard stopped as he saw me standing there shivering, dripping with water and eyes as big as Santa's belly. All he could say was, "We have water now...".

Wishing for cold weather for Christmas always brings 1983 back to mind. But, in southeast Texas you just never know what you're going to get.

Maybe I should put my application in for thermostat controller. Then at least I would know what to expect. Surprises on Christmas are not always a good thing.