The school project Elizabeth was "helping" with, was to write a story, complete with pictures that would be published into a book. The decision was made to write the story of the year when Grandpa insisted the broken Christmas tree stand could make it one more season. Grandpa who had never earned the title of "Mr. Fix It", persuaded everyone he had the tools and the know how to make that tree stand as good as new. I don't know for sure, but I would bet duct tape was somehow involved.
It was Christmas Eve and Grandpa worked his handyman magic and the tree was finally standing at attention. The family decorated the tree and after admiring their beautiful work, went to bed to wait on Santa's arrival. The next morning, the first kids awake, excitedly went running into the living room. With anxious expectation, they rounded the corner to see what Santa had left for them. What they found was the Christmas tree laying on the floor, burying all the gifts that Santa had placed under the tree. I would guess, amidst the twinkling lights of the tree, there was lots of duct tape flapping in the breeze. It was an unforgettable Christmas morning.
Elizabeth retold the funny story of that Christmas morning and had all the details typed up and ready for the publisher. The only thing they needed now were the family photographs to put with the story to make it complete. But ... there was one small problem. Elizabeth doesn't take pictures. The whole family just isn't into recording their memories in photographic form. This whole concept of camera neglect is beyond my comprehension because I would take photos of grass growing if I thought it needed to be done for posterity.
Now that Elizabeth had the story down, they had to have pictures. Elizabeth thought about it, and came up with the perfect solution. Since no one knew what her extended family looked like, she would go to the internet and create a family. She searched the internet and found several photos of Grandpa, or some one's grandfather, that would work nicely. Elizabeth also found a family Christmas photo that was replete with the kid's acting up for the camera. This was your typical American family posing for a holiday photo shoot. What a brilliant idea!
The idea of using stock photos for all family portraits is golden. No more getting the kids dressed in their matching Christmas sweaters for that once a year holiday photo. No more kids rolling around on the floor because their feet hurt from standing. No more Moms telling the kids, crying makes your nose red and everyone will think Rudolph has joined our family. No more of the kids pushing and shoving because they are too close to each other. No more of parents yelling, "You will smile and look like a happy family, dang it!" I think a Christmas card company should come up with a card with a family photo already inserted. Just pick the box with the right number and sex of the children, and you are ready to go. Just the increase in holiday spirit alone is worth the price of the "family in a box."
I think I am going to take this idea one step further. I've been meaning to get new portraits of my girls to put on my mantel. Tomorrow I'm going shopping for photo frames. All I have to do is look for the best photos that come displayed in the picture frames, and buy those. I don't know why I haven't thought of this before. Just think of all the crying from the kids and bribing from me that could have been avoided with this one simple solution.
Elizabeth, on behalf of my children and children everywhere that saw spots for days after hours of flash photography, we thank you.
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