Crazy Is My Normal

Seriously, are there any normal people in this world with normal families? If there are, please notify the Smithsonian because I'm sure they are one of a kind. The museum will want to put them under glass to preserve them for future generations to marvel at. The lines to get in to see this mutant family will wrap around the corner because everyone will want to have a peek at this anomaly.

I have talked to three different people on the telephone today and each one had their own version of family craziness. Family issues that make you look around and say, this must be a mistake because this is not the family I signed up for. The family I ordered came straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Everybody loving each and every member of the family. No one causing any dissension, no jealousy, no hurt feelings...just loving smiles. You know the kind of family I'm talking about, the one that stands around the piano at the holidays with their arms around each other singing Christmas carols. They don't even have to exchange presents because their love is gift enough. Gag... If most families had their arms around each other it would be around their neck in a headlock.

I can't even look for normalcy in my own family. There is so much craziness in my group, I've decided craziness must be catching. Even on a good day, I can do crazy all by myself. No help needed here. So add my own insanity to the rest of the family's and it's break out the straight jackets. My family could do a marathon on Dr. Phil, Oprah and Maury and still not have their issues worked out. Although, it would be very entertaining television. We could just top the whole marathon off with a rousing episode on Jerry Springer and we could all throw chairs at each other, just because that's what crazy people do.

You would think because 99.999 percent of the population has craziness running rampant in their family, someone would come up with a solution. Cities put fluoride in the drinking water to help with dental health, why couldn't we put Prozac in the drinking water to help with mental health. I think I'm on to something here! I'm going to go write my congressman. Surely he will understand, unless his family is the one with their arms around each other singing Christmas carols.

Everyone for the "Better Living Through Pharmaceuticals" campaign, raise your hand!