That's Sheety

I am very particular about my bed linens.  I don't mean to be a bed snob, but I do have a certain criteria for optimal sheet comfort.  In the early years, I didn't know the difference between a thread count and counting sheep in reference to comfortably going to sleep.  As long as there was a bottom and top sheet, and a couple of pillow cases thrown in, that was all I needed for a good night's sleep.

Over the years, I have become a bed linen connoisseur.  After sleeping on luxurious feeling sheets, I don't want to crawl in between just any ol' sheets any more.  I now have an affinity for 100% Egyptian cotton and 800+ thread count bed linens.  There is nothing like slipping into a bed with sheets that just glide across you like silk, and feel as soft as baby powder.

I just purchased a new set of sheets from a well known on-line shopping site.  As I was perusing the many different sheet sets, I came upon a set that was wrinkle free.  I have never tried wrinkle free sheets before, but I figured there were enough of my own wrinkles in the bed so the sheets shouldn't  be full of wrinkles too.  

I read all the reviews that people had posted after purchasing the sheets, and they were all very positive. They especially noted how soft the sheets were, and I have an appreciation for a soft place to lie my wrinkled body down for the night. So... soft sheets and wrinkle free to boot, I had to try them.  I picked a pretty sage green color, ordered a set, and within a couple of days they were delivered to my door.

As soon as the sheets arrived, I tore into the packaging and threw the sheets into the washer. I always wash my new sheets before I put them on the bed just to ensure they are cottony soft and smell spring air fresh.  When the sheets were dry, I pulled them out all warm and cozy and headed for the bedroom. 

As I tucked the bottom sheet around the mattress and flung the top sheet over it, I noticed how the sheets looked so smooth and crisp. They looked so nice, it appeared the sheets had been pressed with an iron.  I thought this is going to be great.  These sheets are always going to look like a brand new set.  My bed linen usually looks like a crumpled piece of aluminum foil after one night because of Richard and I fighting for cover from the dog.  She's a bed hog. 

After looking forward to spending a night with my new sheets, I finally crawled into bed.  As I pulled the covers up and straightened them just so, I looked at Richard and said, "These sheets are too loud!"  The sheets were stiff like a starched shirt and every time I moved, I could hear rustling and crinkling noises.  I told Richard it was like sleeping under gift wrapping paper and all I needed was a bow on my head.  Of course Richard rolled his eyes and said he couldn't hear anything. He thinks I was just imaging it, but he isn't known for being picky about where he sleeps.  I believe if Richard was propped against a wall, he could sleep standing up. So a set of loud sheets certainly wouldn't deter him from a night's sleep.

Richard said I did not need to return the sheets. Besides, there was not a place to check on the return form for sheet loudness.  I guess I'll continue to wash them using lots of fabric softener. Or, it might be easier just to purchase a pair of earplugs to muffle the sheet sounds... Maybe I can find a pair of earplugs in sage green, to match my loud sheets.